Ten Weird 2013 Golf Events
I saw a list of ten weird events that occurred during the last season of professional golf. I don’t know if they’d necessarily make my top ten. Being from the Pacific Northwest, I think the idea of a woman being bitten by a water moccasin during a golf tournament in Florida is pretty strange, not to mention unacceptable, and Sergio Garcia winning with his girlfriend while Rory loses from being too enraptured with his is a toss-up. I guess you had to be there.
The list begins with Gary Player posing nude for ESPN Mag’s “Body Issue.” What that proves to me is that Gary Player’s point is made. He’s 77, has lived an entire adult life of good nutrition, exercise and general fitness, and now he has what few of us older men have – a body that in any way resembles the one we used to have. That’s a big congrats from here to Player.
Tiger Wood’s ball moved when he rearranged a leaf at the BMW – are you kidding? Give me a break. They needed a high-definition camera to see it, for crying out loud. They need to call ghost-busters with their infra-red equipment to see if a poltergeist moved it. And this is an event?
Jessica Korda taught me exactly the approach I must take to my New Year’s resolutions, and I’m convinced. If something ticks you off, change it now – right now, even if it’s a caddy on the ninth at the U.S. Women’s Open.
Now here was a Tiger moment, as a squirrel ran amok at the Ryder Cup, and ended up on the champion’s shoulder, courtesy of a light-hearted moment by girlfriend Lindsey. What if the thing had bitten him on the neck? Oh, lighten up, part of a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband’s job is to do something unsettling once in a while that reminds you that you’re still a normal person – if indeed you are, or have ever been.
Fourteen year-old Guan Trianlang amazingly worked his way into the Masters, only to be penalized for slow play. Sometimes a poor teenager can’t catch a break. He gets on to Augusta, only to be charged with loitering?!?
The world-wide phenomenon of “Dufnering” was ignited when Jason went bye-bye sitting against the wall in a 3rd grade class. I don’t think that’s a big deal at all – I look like that every day after 5pm. I think that knocking a birdie putt away in a rare lack of coordination should go down as the true Dufnering, but I wouldn’t want to imitate it if I had a birdie putt.
Rory walked off the course – toothache? Not in a great mental place? I can count the great mental places I’ve been in on a golf course with the fingers of one hand. Happy to be there, yes, but rarely in a great mental place.
Garcia made yet another fried chicken joke at Tiger – It was a stupid thing to say, and a stupid thing to take any more time for a response – enough said.
Vijay Singh sued the PGA after the deer-antler incident for “public humiliation and ridicule.” He doesn’t know how lucky he is. Many of us only need to play the game to achieve that.
If this were forty years ago, I would have lapsed into a national day of mourning, but being a certified old fossil, parental figure and self-appointed part-time sage, I am nothing but applause and best wishes – whew, dodged that bullet.
The year that was is rapidly becoming the year that will be. I see that there’s an LPGA event in the Bahamas in January, and there’s a possibility that I’ll be there on a brief vacation (fingers crossed). Meanwhile, celebrate whatever made your golf year weird, and best wishes for an even weirder one in 2014.