Golf Tip of the Day Could “Lose” Money
I am of an age where I have heard the great bulk of golf tips offered over the space of several decades. I’ve seen gadgets galore, designed to keep this arm here, and that leg there. I’ve seen gizmos wrapped around the head, and clulbs that come apart if you don’t swing them just right. Every piece of imagery that can be likened to the golf swing – I’ve heard it.
The tip I heard today, however, caught my attention, not so much for the technique it addresses, but for the primal button it pushes in order to work. In that way, it’s the most perfect golf tip I’ve ever heard. Only a tip that says, “If you don’t do such and such, you’ll go into respiratory arrest” would be more effective,
This is what the pro suggests who covers golf tips on TV in Fresno, California. The point addressed is the distance of the arms from the body during all phases of the swing, and how to prevent flailing and general detachment from the torso while in mid-swing – the “swing as one unit or piece” idea. No, not new. Over the years, we’ve put rolled up newspapers and club head covers under our arms to feel what’s going on down there while we swing, the idea being that if it falls to the ground, we blew it – try again until it stays up there.
Our Fresno guy’s tip of the day doesn’t have anything to do with feeling it. In fact, you won’t feel it – you’ll just know it’s there, and that’s more than enough. What we are advised to put under our arms, is money, in bill form. The local pro jokes that hundred dollar bills work better than ones, but in a sense, it’s no joke. Even though you can’t feel the bills there, you will swing as a single unit, because the fear of losing money, especially just letting it fall on the ground before walking away, is a primal fear of the modern commercial age. Yes, in fact, hundreds do work better than ones. I, of course, would have solved the problem by using Monopoly money, but that would have defeated the purpose.
Super-glue your arms together, and the space between your arms and torso will never be as tight (provided that this is what you really want) as they are pinning hundreds of dollars down to prevent loss or theft. I watched as the Fresno guy hit some pretty good shots, and demonstrated a pretty good-looking swing using this method.
Curiosity, of course, demands to know if such a sure-fire attention grabber would work for other issues as well. What about putting expensive gold-pieces on your head to keep it from moving? What about taping a crisp twenty or fifty into your inner elbow that will be mutilated if you don’t keep your arm straight? The next step might be a five dollar fine from your account for looking up early – but you get the point. We’re using something of ultimate social value to force a habit that is allegedly good for us, although that sounds a lot like the officer who gave me a speeding ticket in the middle of nowhere last year.
Now, Mr. Fresno wasn’t hitting a driver, about mid-irons to wedge, I’d say. The question of hitting “the big stick” will require some exploration on the driving range, having a spotter close by, of course, to make sure that no nefarious fellow golfers crowd your space to “pick up” an extra buck.
Laugh as we might, I intend to give this a try, although ones and fives will provide fear enough. For me, using hundreds might bring on a state of shock, especially on a windy day. According to the pro in Fresno, once you’ve really committed this to habit, under your arms might become the safest place in the world to keep your money. The interest rate isn’t so good, but think of the shots you’ll hit.