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May 21

UFOs Over the Players

UFOs – Are They Here At Last?

The Players Championship, played in Florida last week, was certainly interesting, no doubt about that. Apparently, someone else thought so as well, although they remained high in the upper gallery, not having qualified to play in the tournament. We must remember before anything else that the term UFO does not suggest what a thing is, only that it cannot be immediately identified. A couple of these things that “cannot be immediately identified” showed up in the sky on May 12 at 1:45. If UFOs, as in alien UFOs are trying to remain secretive and discreet, they don’t know much about humanity’s camera phone age. They might as well have smiled, said “cheese” in their own language, and come in closer for a better look.

alien Of all the talk about what appeared over TPC Sawgrass last weekend, I couldn’t have been more proud of the writers who created Superman and the other famous heroes we’ve loved for almost a century. I say that because everyone’s first response, expressed in one phrase or another, was “Is it a bird? Is it a plane?” By golly, those fellows were right. That’s exactly what we would say. Unfortunately, in our hardened, overly-slick society, not a soul with a microphone said, “No! It’s Superman!” That saddened me.
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Analysis of the Players UFOs settled on the wider objects being birds in the middle of a wing stroke, and in true federal government fashion, they categorized the contracted objects as the same thing. The government is, and has never been any fun at all when it comes to UFOs. I dream of the day when the leaders of the Western hemisphere declare in a single chorus, “No! It’s Superman!”

So, assuming that these were extraterrestrial denizens in our UFOs, why did they come to see a PGA golf tournament – and what did they think they were seeing? They have appeared at other sporting events as well, suggesting that sports is one of those genres in which we are all more interesting than usual. In their appearance at an NFL football game, maybe they thought that the ball was the evening meal, and very difficult to catch. It must have been dangerous as well, because the hunters had to wear helmets. A drone appearance over a baseball game just demonstrated how badly we want to scream, “No! It’s Superman!” Nice try, but no cigar.
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But golf – what would an other-worlder make of this terribly sophisticated variation on a terribly unsophisticated primeval urge, to hit a rock with a stick? If they looked at it through military eyes, the NFL game might have looked like the infantry, and golf like the artillery. They must have noticed how excited everyone was, all the cheering and suspense that was going on, and the steady migration from tee box to tee box.

On the other hand, maybe our UFO friends were laughing at us, and joking about what rubes we all are to be doing the things we do. All right, then, I dare you, UFO buddies, come down out of there and take up the game. Let’s see how far you get. Think you can qualify for the Masters? Put your alien currency where your mouth is.

Some aliens who exist without human-like appendages might experience an even greater admiration of the game, because they simply can’t believe that it can be done. Those with appendages might be more fascinated, however, and think, “Wow, I’d like to give that a try – looks easy enough.” Among the things our UFO friends did not do was (a) litter the course (b) talk during the backswing (c) land on the green with their gear, or (d) mark their scorecards on the green. So far, then, they appear to have better manners than some of us down here, so I say “Come on down and take a spot behind the ropes. You’re gonna love it.” And if it moves you to do so, take a moment to point at the sky and yell, “No! It’s Superman!” – just for me.
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About the author

G.F. Skipworth

has spent every available moment playing golf or studying the greats since the 60s, in between world tours as a classical musician, Harvard studies in Government or as the author of a dozen novels. Nicklaus and Snead may be the statistical greats, but Skipworth is a life-long devotee of Gary Player, and considers meeting the South African at the Jeld-Wen to be an unforgettable milestone. His driving passion in golf these days is to raise viewer interest in the LPGA.