Loss of Annual Schedule We Are Familiar With Causing Anxiety
In the world of physics, someone will occasionally venture the question, “What is time?” The pedestrian short form of the answer, designed for those who wouldn’t understand the long version anyway is often “Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.” And for our inner clocks, set to a list of annual events with which to make each season enjoyable and varied, the cosmic arrangement is appreciated.
Humans play a lot of good games, each with its well thought out evolution and setting. The schedule is what keeps it all together, and keeps the events from crashing into one another over the same weekend. Championships, specifically golf championships set for specific weeks in spring, summer, autumn and fall are interconnected with the seasons, the temperature, the landscape, one’s wardrobe, and a proximity to certain holidays.
The LPGA has just come out with its latest schedule revision that usually takes live golf into the spring and summer. Suddenly, however, the seasons first major, the ANA, is in September. Ok, I am usually camping on the weekends in September, trying to squeeze out every whiff of campfire and smell of fir trees before Mount Rainier closes for the winter. If I’m going to watch tour golf, I have to take a gadget with me that gets very good reception. Golf is diminished with dissolving screens, and camping is diminished by taking a miniature television under my arm. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll go hiking just as soon as Paula holes this out.? ” or “Forgot the long haul – run. We can catch the back nine if we’re back in time.”
September is also the month that I watch my beloved Oregon Ducks football team on Saturday afternoon. Now, what will I do? Bring two gadgets to the campground? The PGA is all over the place with schedule changes, plus an abundance of cancellations, including the Players, Valspar, World Golf Championships, the Zurich, Wells Fargo, Byron Nelson, so on and so on. The Open, the British Open is cancelled! For a golfer, that’s a life turned upside down. The Olympic competition has been postponed,. The PGA is in August where it used to be in May. The U.S. open has been switched from March to September. Talk about wearing white after Labor Day.
But the worst, the very worst, is the relocation of the Masters from spring to November. Augusta week is the high holy days for golfers. We can’t celebrate Easter in six feet of snow (unless we’re northern Canadians), nor can we celebrate Christmas on 80 degree sandy beaches with dancing Tahitians swaying in the sunset. Well, I suppose we could, but it’s just not right. Here’s something else to consider. Close your eyes and imagine the last holes of Augusta under a foot of snow. Does that make you want to play golf, or welcome the warm season? All right, then,…try this. Can we picture ourselves watching the Masters while the turkey is being taken out and carved? Can we see players with long thick sleeves trying to get the round done in a short day, putting on 18 in the dark? And to top it all off, does anyone realize what an azalea looks like in November? They might as well plant multi-colored onions and give out a mud-colored jacket to the winner.
In terms of mixing my sports, golf complements a lot of activities. However, I can’t see jamming golf, football,baseball, basketball, and winter sports into four ESPN days. I use certain sports to get through each season, golf to get through all of them. Time was separated into a schedule of successive joys for a reason. Now I’m so confused about the dates that I risk missing half of it all, just by accident.
Time to get back on schedule.